The Gift of Goodbye is a great gift to give to yourself this holiday season. The goodbyes of old relationships, old habits, and old ways of thinking are just some of those goodbyes.
It is not an easy gift to give. You have to be emotionally ready to withstand the feelings of regret, grief, or anything strong that would pull you back into that space of keeping what needs to leave.
The gift of goodbye is not without a cost. You have heard me speak about the cost of change, and well, this is part of the cost, but the gift of goodbye is a bit more in value–it also means that you pay for the preparation for what will now fill that space, and pay the cost to have a bit of patience to get it filled with the right replacement. You just don’t want to fill that space with anything, for the replacement that you choose, if not strong enough, will break, or if it is not expansive enough, you will need more, and if it is not long-lasting, it will fail you.
Think of a replacement as you would think of fixing a broken ceramic. Yes, you could use glue. But not just any glue. If you use paper glue, it won’t be strong enough to hold the pieces, if you use wood glue, it won’t stick properly, and if you use a cheap quick adherence glue, it will work, but once water hits it, it will fail. You want to use a strong glue that can withstand the weight of the ceramic, as well as the water and any other properties that it might find itself in, and you want to use a type of glue that can be aligned with the function of the ceramic. The replacement matters, as much as the goodbye.
This space that comes with saying goodbye is leaving room for what is to come. Don’t hasten what is to come, for you might choose a replacement too quickly, and find out later that it was not the right one. But rather, take your time, be intentional, and look for the promises along the journey. The wait is worth it, and the replacement is highly valued. The gift of saying goodbye is truly a worthy gift. It’s value is far more than what you were ever taught. And the riches that you gain by saying goodbye are more than just the peace that comes, for peace, is only the beginning of the gifts that come back to you.
I’m giving myself the gift of saying goodbye this holiday season to old relationships, habits, thoughts, and unhelpful ways of being. I hope you can do the same. Merry Christmas!