There Is So Much Love I have To Give

“There is so much love I have to give,” Ryan said. I listened intently as he shared his recent updates on life, and his pursuit of finding that special someone. Wyoming was so far to listen to his story, but I felt so close to his words through the cell phone in my Uncle’s spare bedroom on that summer afternoon. I was preparing to go to Mali, and yet, I was also preparing for a life I knew nothing about. This life of finding a love. 

I am remembering Ryan’s words a decade plus later as I write this post, and replay his words in my head, but this time, I’m saying them. “God, I have a lot of love to give.” And just like Ryan was in that moment, I’m yearning for that special someone, but instead of longing to have what I can’t see or have now, like longing to see the effects of the wind, I’m asking God to prepare me to love this world with all that I have. 

“God, help me to love this world. Help me to love with my words, my actions, my smile, my laughter, my hope, my work, with all of me, help me to place all of this love I have to give to a hurting world that desires honesty, hope, and human touch.” 

I want to love. And I want to be loved. The best way to solve that problem is for me to create a place for me to put my love, and to be vulnerable enough to receive the love that has always existed around me. Whether that love is through a person, through a stranger’s smile, through a kid’s touch, through a birds song, or the sound of moving water on a soft sandy beach, while the sun is slowly saying good day. 

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